Tuesday, February 24, 2015

paragraph rewrite

    Fish have eyes that can see above them and all around. My Uncle Jon tole me all about the fish he has kept in terrariums. They eat plants and other fish. Some like light and stay close to top of the lakes or oceans,while some swim at the bottom of the sea looking for something to eat in the sand or hide behind rocks. They just not look straight on as we look at the world and other people. Especially, other people when we want to have an important conversation like the one that I had with my Uncle John. I like to study fish.

    We changed the order of the paragraph and we grabbed the main idea turned it to be an introduction. Then we gave the details and the conclusion. We combined some short sentences into a compound sentence. We separated a run-on sentence made it simple and clear.

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